I Can’t Give Her What She Wants

“The girl is not the problem. The problem is me.”

If am going to explain this; all am going to say (without me actually understanding it) is that: I can’t wrap my head around women. Not because they didn’t seem cool or normal. But because am scared I might not be able to give them what they want.

Women want to feel save – but I don’t want to do so.

They want a loving husband – when am just a simple partner.

Loving is sweet – but sometimes I prefer a simple partner.

What should I do?

“There’s only one thing that I want. I want my woman to have a base, a base where I could meet her, a base where I could say, “Yeah, am going to meet my babe,” where actually am not feeling attached. But the problem is: will any woman allow her man to live such a life..!!?”


Will any woman allow her man to be?

Let assume am dating your sister, and one day she walk up to you, and she told you how she met this man. He is caring, have good physique, and oh, he’s very gentle. But the problem is: he didn’t want to live with his wife. He strongly want to be alone. What Will You Do?

Will you allow her to marry such a useless asshole? Or will you advise her to follow her dream? – This is the problem that I have: I don’t want to be with women. But I deeply respect them.

Some people say ‘that’s just a lie,’ how will you love someone and not wanting to be with them? – Well, all I could say is that, am not that hard of a man, but when am in retrospective, I prefer the staying alone.

Yeah… It seem staying alone makes him happy.

If we should all be honest, sometimes (if not most of the time) we deeply want to question ourselves. Our values, does it align with our goals? And when we couldn’t find the answers, we feel lost.

Although, am not that a selfish prick. But I think right now, am going to be one. Because I don’t think there’s any benefits in trying not to offend my woman when in contrast, I am offending myself?

I want to date a woman – but am not in anyway interested in being bug down. I just want to be free…

But a problem is coming to pass…

I have already gotten a girlfriend.

She’s been keeping up with me all the time, accepting whom I am. But most times, I still feel like being fake. I feel like am not being genuine. Trying to compromise myself, all because of making her secure. It seem weird.

Maybe I shouldn’t hurt the woman, or I shouldn’t hurt her ego. But the truth is: I don’t want to get married. And if I must end up in marriage, I want us to live apart.

And if that mean am going to stay lonely, well, so be it. I just can’t force myself in a relationship where I couldn’t be there for the woman.

The Mundane Task

Imagine yourself having a shitty woman. She didn’t care offending you. She didn’t give a fuck. She didn’t understand the word compromised. She prefers doing it her own way. But she’s cute. She’s wonderful. When we’re talking about temperament, she’s the best. You love her – deeply. You truly care about her. But the problem is… She only care about her dream. Anything else that doesn’t relate to her? Well, they could go fuck themselves. But the most eye catching thing is: you still love her with all this. What Will You Do?

But before you started forming all the critical ideas, thinking how you’ll counter-attack her stupid behavior, just wait a bit.

Now let pretend it’s not the woman. Let pretend you’re the one. Let assume you’re the one having all these shitty ideas. That you’re the one who doesn’t give a fuck. That you’re the one who doesn’t care about anyone else except your dreams. Now let pretend that the woman still love you. Upon all your crazy ideas, upon all your stupidities, she still care about you. What Will You Do?

You don’t really want any woman around you. You just want to live your life. You just want to be whatever the fuck you deeply wanted to be. Yet this woman loves you. She deeply care about you. She didn’t gives a fuck what anyone says. She only care about you.

She stayed by your side. Always hoping the best for you. Even when you’re being this shitty, she still respect you.

What will you do?

  • Wanting a perfect match, a woman that will love you just the way you are, when in reality, you can’t even love yourself.
  • Wanting to be with someone who will cherish you, who will understand all the struggles of your life, who will make everything and everyone around you blossom, and here you are, living all the moment of your life chasing things, pursuing things you wouldn’t wanted to have, at least in the nearest five years. What a waste.
  • And what about you? You deeply wanted to marry a model, a model working his/her ass off to be better, kicking himself day-and-night to be better, but you – what did you do? What did you do to deserve her love? What make you think he’s going to love you back? You’re ugly as fuck. And you couldn’t even lift a finger to make yourself better. And you’re here waiting for the dream of your life? – wake up! No one ever wanted to be with a useless fuckface. Believe me, you’re just a stupid wreck.

Wanting something is different from working your ass off to get it.

You can be there praying all day. Asking God (or whatever the fuck you believe in) to bless you with good wife, a good wife with an excellent shape and an awesome boob. But believe me, your God won’t ever be there to help you. He won’t ever take you out to approach women. He won’t ever hold your hand, showing you around where the best place you could go to meet women. He can only do the best of giving you the idea, now it left to you to do the mundane task.

I have seen so many relationship failed (including mine). But what I realized was that, some of us didn’t want what we think we want. Because when the shit hit the fans, we still prefer being the shitty person we are deep-down. We prefer doing the shit we always do, over and over again, but just that, we’re now expecting different results. I hope we all wake up from our own delusional fuck up dreams.

Believe me, we’ve all gat a mundane task to do. (Yeah, both me and you). We must make our relationship count. We must give it all our best.

Because I think as long as you’re in deep love. And you deeply cherish the man or the woman that we’re talking about. Then I believe we could all change for better. I believe we could all say, “Yeah, I think it’s time for me to make my relationship better,” trust me, we all deserve to make this grandeur decision.

Of course I cherish your ideas. And I really respect your decisions. But believe me; no man or any woman will ever date you without having the strength to compromise.

Because it’s a mundane task, the one that anyone (and everyone) who really wanted to be better must do, at least in their chosen relationship.

The Mission (Part Two)

Read Part One Here: The Mission

You don’t always get what you want, but sometimes, it is better to be fully equipped. Not knowing what awaited me, I keep on going forward.

I don’t want anyone to think am weird or something. But when it turns to something that I feel deeply connected to, you better don’t mess with it. Meeting this girl is another turn-up of life.

It seems am going to forget about everything. Maybe I should just pay attention to her. Well, that depends on her term. Whether she wants me or not.

I sat down there looking straight into her eyes, thinking and assuming everything. Do you also love me, babe? Or you’re just saying this to let time pass? I was asking myself.

“Jane, what if you’re just saying this to make me realize my mistakes? What if you didn’t love me?” I said, trying to reassure myself.

“Well, maybe you haven’t made any mistake. Maybe you’re doing the right thing. Everything happens for a reason.” She said, telling me how determined she is.

I was amazed at how powerful we are if only we can choose to follow our hearts. Although our hearts almost always make us do shitty things, what about those greatest times? When our hearts did encourage us to push through the hurdles? Incredibly wonderful. I was asking myself, “What if I didn’t try?”

The answer is; that I will still be there drooling about how far am falling in love. Falling in love with my girlfriend’s tight friend.

Since we’re both moving in the same direction, there is no point in beating around the bush. I have to tell it just the way it is. So I said,

“Jane, I believe you understand my love life? I hate wasting time. If you don’t love me please let me know. I can’t be here wasting time on someone who wouldn’t care about me. I have dated your friend and you also understand the situation she put me in. Now, am not interested in facing the same thing as you. Please, Jane, I want you to be honest with me,” I said, trying to be composed as ever.

Although, I hate putting up lies, sometimes, you have to know how to present yourself. Most importantly, when we’re talking about love.

Based on my deduction, I can feel she loved me. What makes her fall in love? I can’t say. But here, I can feel the vibe.

Waiting for her response. I said, “Maybe I shouldn’t be putting the pressure on you? Maybe I should give you some time?”

She was confused. Maybe thinking if I’m truly serious? Or maybe getting nervous, what will her friends say? Or maybe combining everything? It was hard to say. But then she said, “I don’t know if you can cope with me? I am still a virgin?”

Brilliant. This is brilliant. I was getting excited. The one I was getting all troubled with actually wasn’t a virgin. But her friend? What great luck? This is beyond my expectations. To hide my happiness I said, “That can’t be. How come you’ll still be a virgin? Up to this point? No way!” I said, trying to be serious as if I was talking to a Psychiatric President.

She said, “Not that I didn’t have a boyfriend, but because I couldn’t give him what he want, he was treating me poorly. But what about you? Just the way my boyfriend is treating me, my friend is making you suffer just the same. What a great disappointment?”

And then I realized what is happening. She was facing the same shit as me. Falling head-over-hill for someone who can’t respect your feelings? What a tough journey?

But hey, this is life. And we all have to deal with its unfairness. Or else, it will be another story. I said, “Your friend is not the problem, I am the problem. I was the one allowing her to treat me with disrespect. Trying to put up with her uncertainty all because of love. What a weird thinking?”

“Well, we sometimes pass through some hurdles to meet the real one. Maybe it’s all happened all because of meeting each other?” She said.

Well thought, I think. This is what I want. Being straight with each other? Yeah, having the audacity to be more daring and honest? It was refreshing.

“I think I should have met you long ago before I get in line with your friend. Maybe my life could have improved a little?” I said, trying to feel down.

“Not really, we wouldn’t have valued each other. I think now is the right time,” she said, feeling proud of her decision.

You’re right, I thought to myself. “But hey, what make you think I might not be able to cope with you? Because you’re still a virgin?”

She sighed, “I wanted to wait until am deeply sure of the right man, and I don’t know how long that will me. Maybe you shouldn’t try at all, I might not be the best candidate,” she said.

Candidate my ass, I thought to myself. What the fuck is she even thinking about?

“You’re right, maybe I shouldn’t even try,” I said, “But the problem is, I am loving you already.”

In life, not everything deserves proper care. Sometimes, you have to go all in as if you don’t give care about the world.

Sitting down and looking at her, I know I am choosing the right choice. Even if I failed, at least, I’ll fail while daring greatly. I just want to love her with all my heart. Nothing else.

Some people say you shouldn’t love that openly. That you should guard your feelings? Well, that’s crazy. They’re scared of being hurt? What a coward!

I am deciding already, this girl, even when she’s not going to love me back, I am loving her already. With that, I stood up, leaned in, and kiss her with deep passion.

People are looking? Yes, I know! I just don’t care anymore. I am going to die, I want to die being live a life worth remembering. I want to take care of my loved ones without holding anything back.

“Jane, I love you!” I said while looking at her with that innocent face.

She blushed, feeling nervous, and said, “What are you doing? Can’t you see people are all looking at you?”

I smiled. What a joke? People are all looking at me? Funny! Ain’t you the one they’re paying all attention to? But anyway, that’s how women think.

“Let’s go,” I said, stretching my hand.

She was confused but took out her hand anyway. And we both leave the restaurant as if no one was there looking at us in the first place.

In life, you have both the YES and NO. You can decide to follow your heart, face all the consequences, and either come back thanking yourself for doing so or getting hurt to the point of feeling as if you’ve made the wrong decisions while the lessons learned will remain in your heart, guiding all your footsteps for the nearest future.

And you can choose to never take action at all, that you can’t just face all the humiliation, and later on, you’re being there regretting what you could have done but didn’t do. That maybe you could have gone for it, that at least, you’ll experience how it feels. But no, you didn’t try. And you’re regretting all the stupid shit.

But now, I have decided. There’s no turning back. I am loving this girl, and there is no way am going to stop loving her. Even if she didn’t love me back, at least, I’ll experience how hurtful it is to fall in love with someone you deeply care about.

“Jane, I won’t ever stop falling in love with you. That’s my promise to myself. Am loving you with all my heart.” I said firmly to myself. And we both leave space to let our feelings grow.

The mission is in the life of an untangle success, but only for the brave ones.

Make your decision, and never hold anything back going for it.

You can call me Lake Chass.

Yes, I am Lake Chass.

Read Part One Here: The Mission


“Thinking back, it’s all depend on accuracy!”

I sat down, not knowing exactly what to do. Should I approach her just now or should I let her finished buying? And hey, what will people say about me?

(I was talking to myself).

This girl is beautiful. And I can see different eyes on her. Ultimate attention sucker. People are all looking at her direction. And in fact, I was the only one (not really) not paying attention. As if, I didn’t gives a fuck.

But to be honest, I was fighting the huge to release my specimen. The thing is getting crazy down there, as if I haven’t seen a girl for years.

And the more I look at the girl before me, the more all the viber in my entire body keep shouting ‘retreat! retreat! retreat!’ What the hell..??

This girl is beautiful, and to me (according to how I rate women), she’s elegantly awesome. And in fact, am feeling too many butterfly in my stomach even as am typing this (not to mention what really happens at that fortunate present).

As am looking at her my heart was pounding like a beast. Upon all the experiences I still found it uneasy to just go.

“Yeah, just walk up to her!”

Fuck you! Do you realize how hard it is to just walk up to her? Ain’t that easier said than done?

In fact, it was hard like hell. And am certain, many guys in the room can also relate to that … … We’re all feeling nervous like shit (that’s my guess anyway).

But as a writer, a coach (yeah I coach some dude out there) I choose to face my fear. Right now this girl was my biggest fear. And I didn’t want to regret not talking to her.

So I muster the courage and walk up to her. (Even though all the butterflies in my stomach has started their meetings already. Flying like shit!)

I didn’t try to look cool – and how will I? When am feeling nervous already. So I just try to be the real me, the real feeling nervous guy.

“Scuese me! Like seriously, I was scared to talk to you.!”

“Buh why..? Why’re you scaring..!!!”

“Hum, seriously, you’re too sexy!”

“Oh thanks!”

“Okay! Am Lasisi, and although am kind of feeling scared right now, all because of your look. But anyway, I really want to know you better!”

“Oh yeah, you’ve known me already.”

“Not really, let have a seat then we’ll talk better!”

“Alright, but, little time I got. Hope you won’t mind!”

“Yeah, sure.”

Then we sat down talking about shit. Shit I didn’t even remember. Honestly, I was just saying nonsense.

And maybe after five minutes she wanted to leave. And I was like, cool, I’ve already break some limit talking to you. So I asked for her number and she somehow declined. And well, I didn’t think much of it and we both say goodbye.

Why am I writing this?

Most times you gotta feel like shit. Sometimes the situation will be tense, and sometimes just pure feeling of getting rejected.

Although when I first started dating, yeah, in the beginning of me approaching. I was this crazy headed guy. I didn’t give a fuck about any situation. I just did my approach without caring about how I appear to the world. But now, it seem I am getting left behind.

What you practice is what you master. You stop practicing it, then you stop improving.

I can approach any fucking woman in any fucking places (back in the days). But now I realize, things started changing. I started calculating my target, finding spot to attack. Which is not happening before.

Although I can still be that crazy dude (only when the situation call for it), but now, I prefer cunning approach. (I don’t know if am just lying to myself or am being honest here. Maybe am just scared to approach, that’s all).

But the main point is:

No matter how ‘Casanova’ you are, if you stop practicing your craft, then you’re diminishing your skills. Very soon, you won’t be that great again.

What..??!! You mean just because I can approach any woman before doesn’t mean I can do it now today!?

Correct! That’s what am saying, exactly.

Just because you can do it back then doesn’t mean you can do it now. And because you can do it now doesn’t mean you’re now better than before. It might just mean you can now differentiate your target. Hmm, operation dodging the failure. #wink.

You’re now better at chosen who to approach and who to ignore. And some people call it taste. As in, you know your ‘taste’ when you see them. (Well, whether you’re lying or not I didn’t know. Maybe you’re just running from rejection, who knows?)

But here is the kicker.. .. ..

No matter how I feel (even if am feeling more than eleven millions butterfly in my stomach), if the girl was excellent, and she was driving me like mad, then by all means am going to approach her. I won’t just come up with one bullshit. Instead, I’ll persuade myself to finally meet her. I might now get there and say the truth; “Babe, I didn’t really want to talk to you. Because I am scared. But anyway, I have manage to do so. So, can I get to know you?!”


Say the fuck you wanted to say about me. That’s how I do my shit. I can’t just be here writing down what I didn’t practice. Am not writing fiction you know.

I talk to girl that really tickle my fancy. And I will stop at nothing to approach her. (Although she can choose to ignore me!)

So as much as ‘Casanova’ as I am, I still find it nervous to approach some girls. Not because I didn’t have enough courage, (or you can say so anyway), but because some situations just make me feel weird.

But no matter the situation anyway, I still manage to be honest with myself.

That’s that for this article.

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A Lesson Learned From Living A Disciplinary Lifestyle.

“I don’t care who the hell it is, either it’s your colleagues at work or your disciplinary girl friends. Always leave people better than you meet them.”

The journey of my life consist of interacting with people, either my love ones or my personal acquaintances, I always feel like leaving them better than I met them.

But all that doesn’t necessarily mandated to people you get along with (alone), you should also transfer it to your personal day-to-day life.

Here it is…

“I drop from a bike this morning heading to my hometown (I gat a company there and I went to a Taxi Garage for my trip over there), and as am about to ask the driver which bus is going next, I manage to raised my head and ‘clock-four my eyes’ with one of my not-so-pretty back in the days dating dioxide.

This girl was pretty but somehow has ugly flaw – she play men. Although I couldn’t blame her, but I still find it ugly.

I smirk to her and didn’t talk but shake her hand anyway, and we both enter the bus. And well, I didn’t say shit and we both come down at the same place – and yet, I refused to talk to her.

She was surprised because her friend keep on looking over me through her shoulder. (I thought they’ve brief each other over my matter).

I didn’t think much about it because I could never date her type – why?

I think she always believe she’s wise, meanwhile, she’s only dating not so average guys, or let just say, guys with little to non principles. Guys who didn’t mind how girls treat them as long as they can find their ways to her vagina. Fuck those guys!

When I first met her, she was decent, average looking women but full of youthful figure. I was like, this girl really dope men. Then I approached her and talk to her. We exchange contact.

After that we started seeing each other, I didn’t know I was being scammed but anyway (as an honest guy) I play well with her fantasies. Although we didn’t fuck, hell, I don’t even manage to press some yokes, but anyway, the journey somehow worth it (even though she did wasted my time a little before I realized what is going on).

She was smart but not too smart, because back then I was desperately looking for girlfriend (she wouldn’t last a day if it was now) so I didn’t pay much attention with girls playing game. I just stupidly run after them.

But upon all my stupid acts and brainless pursuit, I still manage to practice my ART; “Always leave better than you meet them.”

The day I realized she was playing me, I said what the fuck, I wasted my time and some resources on this girl and yet I didn’t know she was playing me. Oh boy, I was being pranked.

But I was happy because I did the best I could. Because no matter the situation we found each other in the nearest future, she’s gonna be the one to feel ashamed, scamming a man who didn’t care about your bullshit mentality but instead allow you to go ‘scot-free’ without taking actions. You should realize those type of guy aren’t common you know. To allow any woman to walk-out of his life even though they try to exploit him, that guy really have something up his sleeve am serious.

So I didn’t take actions because I believe we gonna see again and she’s going to regret it, and what about the lessons learned from her, you know? That lessons alone is enough for me to survive this life crazy bitches to show up in my life next to other times.

So I thanks her for playing me, she has already teach me enough to be my own coach in case of next time – you know, I might still meet her type.

And today we finally met again – but I didn’t say a shit about it. I just smirk and go my separate way as we both come down from the bus, but she can realize some ‘fuck you’ coming out from my body language.

And yes, I can see her getting nervous and feeling inferior because she didn’t know what to do – dumping a man who is wiser than you ain’t a small tactics you know. I think she secretly admire me now, what a mature guy.

Moral of story…??

As you go up in life, either in business and or in relationships, always try your best to never be at the lower end. Don’t always take from people but give as well.

Either giving through your expertise or through your resources, just make sure that you’re not always being at the receiving end.

Because when the times come, you’ll thank God and appreciate yourself for not being an inferior target.

Always have the upper hand.

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