I don’t know much about success. Nor do I care about it. But ask me anything about failure. And I will fill your day with both joy and suffering.
People say successful people also start small in their lives. I doubt them. Maybe not when you’re suffering like me. Maybe they might have given up.
One glimpse at me. And you’ll be thanking your God. Not that am that useless. But my life is a mess.
Someone said the owner of Facebook also dropped out from college? Maybe because he has a good background? I also wanted to dropped out too. But I didn’t even went to any. College or school? It might be for the upper class.
I manage to locate my tooth brush. Worn out, but still getting the job done.
Today was another interview. In a company I can’t even pronounce the name. Hab-Arg-Tech Contriohology & Co. Int’l Contractor.
Maybe I understand the Co. And maybe the ‘Con’ and the ‘tractor’ as well. But the remaining name? Maybe when I get there. I will ask the interviewer. I doubt he/she will understand.
I look for work almost everyday. Some of the interviewer can’t even tell you the name of their company without glancing at a book. Almost unpronounceable.
I think that will be my first assignment. Assuming they employ me. The first thing we’re going to do is to change the name of the company. ‘Harb Arg Tech’ something is not suiting my liking.
I brushed my teeth and took out my sandal. Maybe this is the reason I haven’t found work. I only got two. Same color, same model and same type. You can wear it every season. Rubber type. Raining and sunny, you’re free to go.
People say ‘the way you dress is the way you’ll be addressed,’ maybe they’re right. It just that. I don’t have any, apart from this.
I sometimes see my colleagues. Or let say my rivals. Also looking for job. Some wear expensive suits. Under the same sun like me. I wonder how many they’ve got. Because wearing it almost everyday, looking for job? Not an easy task.
But me? Only round neck. Maybe three. Two fitted polo. And ‘none’ T-shirt. T-shirt companies should fuck themselves. And I have eight trousers. Same type and same color. Just like the sandal.
Maybe because am jobless. I don’t know. But ask anyone who know me. And the story will never change. They will tell you the same story. Wearing the same color all day. That’s my style.
I took my bag. Nothing much inside. I hate credentials. But because of all these fuckup companies. I made one up. Lying all over it. Telling work experience you never got. And the one you got, telling them it’s seven years experience. When in actuality, it was six months. But I think they love it that way. So I have to comply.
I have to be on time. Eight ‘O’ clock this morning. Our interview time. I think we’re going to be many. Big company like that. They’re always full of employee. Or maybe employees. English is wide. But as long as you can understand yourself. That’s all that matter.
Am a man of time. So I never wasted it. Should you waste it for me? Then you’re looking for trouble. Big one.
I checked my wallet. Still got up to ten dollars. It will do.
I entered the street. Now almost quarter pass seven. At least warming up will do. And it will save my expenses. Another hard earn lesson: Always spend less than you earn. And am not even earning. At least for now. So I’ve got to incorporate some tactics.
I got there exactly seven forty five.
Some dude are already gathering. I don’t know if they ever slept at all. Because of interview? Yes sir, you better hold your job. Some people think am not serious. Well, if you say so.
Three guys and two women. Almost dress to nine. Expensive suits and so. Maybe they rent it? Who knows? But anyway, it was fantastic. Meeting some dude trying to impress the manager, or the company, or the sales manager, or the sales person? Who ever the fuck it will be. Going to be interesting. Or so I guess.
I looked around. Nothing much. We’re all waiting outside the company. Opening time is eight. So we still have up to fourteen minutes. Very cool.
Two of the guys was hanging together. Maybe they’re friends? Or they’re just knowing each other? Whatever. Suffering mentality always pair people together. Sharing the same experience. From how their country was bad to how economic was driving everyone crazy. Maybe talk about girls? I doubt it. These ones are not looking like the type. The type who chased women. They look like normal dude. The one you’ll be talking about religion all day, without anyone getting tired. That’s their type.
The two women. Maybe thirty and thirty-three. Seating differently. On a pavement. Not too far from each other. One look like someone you wouldn’t try to mess with. Maybe she’s into power lifting. The other one, around thirty. She was dope. My type. She dressed normal. Not like someone looking for job. But like someone who got it already.
I evaluated myself. Doing good. But not very good. Among these pairs? Rest assured, am going to be rated last.
But that ain’t the problem. Am not here to contest. Am here for job. And you can rate me all you want. That’s your problem.
The other guy. Permanently hanging alone. Maybe the same type like me? People who hate talking. Especially when you don’t know anyone. He was doing okay. And it seem I gave him respect. But I don’t know why.
Ten minutes past eight.
People started coming in. Mostly the staff. Or customers? I can’t say. But I was wondering: why did you told us eight when you’re not even going to be ready by nine? Because this is ten minutes past eight. And this fucking company is not yet opens. It seem they’re stupid or something. I think that will be the case.
Instead of me wasting their time. Now they’re wasting mine. It’s okay. I told myself. We waited.
Eight twenty-five, more people coming in. Big cars. Very expressive one. We waited.
Exactly eight-forty. They told us to come in. Everyone staggered over. Changing gears and changing attitude. Some are smiling. Even after waiting for that long? Fools.
Some put on ‘am a nice one’ attitude. I didn’t care. Instead I smirk. Ready to punch the manager in the gut. Keeping me waiting since seven forty-five? He must be crazy.
We all entered.
One dude was leading us upstair. Maybe second floor. But we didn’t stopped until we reach the last floor. Maybe thirteen story building. I could have counted that before.
I was losing my cool. What kind of stupid company is this? Wasting my time since morning. And now you’re dragging us all the way from first floor to the last one without entering the lift. Is your brain not working or you’re just leading us on purpose? I waited.
After the awkward walk. We all entered an open space. Maybe conference room? Or maybe visitors room? Perhaps marketing and distribution room? Maybe they will explain that. So I waited.
The dude that was leading us signaled to us. As if telling us to wait here. Although there’s enough seat. But the way he waved his hand didn’t prove that. It was something like: you people should wait for me here, am coming.
But I was one of this crazy dude you wouldn’t like to employ in your company. Unless you’ve learn to understand some protocol. I didn’t always follow rules. I always find ways to break them. Or bending them. Am good at bending. That’s what I thought.
I looked around. Glance at the three dude before me. As if telling them: guys, I gonna seat here. This fucking company doesn’t understand shit.
I waited almost one hour outside. And took another meaningless walk. Are you now telling me to still stood up like a fool? You must be mad.
I found myself a comfortable seat. But I don’t know what happened to the kids. They’re all hanging there looking at me. As if I am one of this major statue in the presidential assembly. And the dude I thought was superb. The one standing alone outside. He was also staring at me. Hanging with the cowards? Now I hate this guy. I thought he was brave back then. Fuck you! I said in my head. Another lesson learned: not every tough dude are tough dude.
I sat and they stood for another five minutes or so. And finally, one asshole later drag his ass out.
Without wasting time he said,
“Ladies and gent.. .. ..” he paused, looked at me and then looked at the stupid dumbasses hanging there. “Gentle men, why ain’t you seating down?” He asked.
They were fools. I thought.
With awkward silences. They all find the nearest seat and sat down. And the asshole continue.
“As we know, this company is one of the biggest companies in this city. And our expertise is based on Agro Gallic and some Liquid in the business arena.” He paused. Maybe checking reactions. He continued, “We believe everyone here understand the purpose of this gathering?” Maybe he was asking us or he was confirming it. I can’t say. “We want everyone to dedicate their ability, intelligence and the power of their thinking to bring the best out of this company. And also, we’re expecting individual to be punctal at their given field.” No way! I thought to myself. You stupid asshole. Now telling us to be punctal huh? After wasting the best hour of our time outside. Plus that stupid walk huh? Now in conjunction with your stupid speech? Fuck you! Yeah fuck you a million times. And he finally rounded up, “Now, I will call Mr. Jones to collect all your credentials and submitted it to my office and you’ll wait for our call or text. We’ll be sending you the details of your post, your salary and your resumption date. So ladies and gentlemen, we all thank you for your time and understanding. Have a wonderful day.”
And he turn to his left. Maybe looking for his fuckup Mr. Jones.
I coughed. Raised my hand and started talking,
“Sir, I believe we’re all ready to work for the progress of this company.” Always try to appear in their good side first. “But there’s a problem rising up here. You told us to be here by eight and we all did. And in fact some of my colleagues are here probably after six or quarter to seven in this morning hoping to be punctal when in reality we’re all just doing it on purpose only to get the job done first. And what brings the surprised is the fact that the company itself is not opening by eight but after eight-forty. Then tell us, what makes you wasted our time for so long?” All eyes on me with killer eyebrows pecking some holes around me. Both Mr. Jones and the asshole was staring at me as if I was a demon. As am about to seat down I said, “And again, that Mr. Jones took us here all the way from the first floor to the last floor without seemingly affected. Please tell us, is your lift not working or you didn’t have any?” And I sat down. Waiting for who ever has the gut to speak.
After twenty seconds of awkwardness.
Mr. Jones did.
“Gentle man, this is a company not a place to be dragging matters. Can you all please drop your credentials?” He looked at the dumbasses.
I love him. Very well trained. Business like. Intelligent. Original fuck-face. God punished you. I cursed him inside.
With everyone probably cursing at me in return. They all stood up and submitted their CV. I was the only one remaining on my seat.
“Gentle man, can you drop your credentials?” The asshole was the one asking me this time. I didn’t respond. I shrugged and said,
“I think no one cares about answering my questions?”
Always stubborn. That was my style. No one ever override me with bullshit. And am alway ready to fight.
“Gentle man, do you realize you’re in a company?” The asshole was trying to scare me. Or maybe warn me. I sneered.
“At least am not signing a contract.” I shot back. Always prepare for war.
“Okay, can you please tell us your objective?”
“Of course I am more than happy to help.” I said, trying to emphasize every word. “Firstly, you told us to be here by eight and we’re expecting the company to be punctal with their time as well but they didn’t. And instead of the company to apologize for that once and for all you’re asking us to dedicate our life to your company. How are we going to do that? For a company that doesn’t care about our well-being but only the progress of the company? Let assume we all came late. And we all dragged our asses here exactly ten ‘o’ clock? Isn’t that mean we’re disrespecting the company? So for this being said, I want the company and the board of management to understand the importance of dealing with time. And with due respect, am begging you all my colleagues to please forgive the company for their poor management of time. Thank you all.” And I shut the fuckup. Took my file and submitted it to Mr. Jones. Took the first step. The second step. And the third step.
“Hun- Hun- Hun,” Mr. Jones was clearing his throat, “Gentle man. What is your name?”
Even with all the fact that my file was in your hand, you’re still asking for my name? I smirked, turn back and said,
“I am Chass, Lake Chass.”
And I walked out of the room. Out of the company. Stopped a taxi. And the driver took me out of the fucking mess.
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