The Mission

Looking around softly, there is no way I could be beaten. With all this and that, without wasting enormous talent, this thing, I will dig deeper.

This mission is not optional. It either does or dies. You’ll achieve the aims of your plan? Or you’ll forget all about it? You need to draw the line between you and your opponents.

Is it going to be easy? Not exactly, but reasonably possible. I smirked. This is exactly what I want. Not achieving this goal means not achieving success.

I don’t like the visibility of my plan. But what can I do? Beating myself up? Tag! Am going to tough it out. During this mission, it seems my enemies are going to increase in numbers. But hey, if being a man living his life in his term make more people jealous, so be it. At least, having more unimportant enemies is still the best deal compared with living a miserable life all because you’re afraid of being different.

I love total coolness. Doing my things just the way I want to. Not compromised. Living without giving a care about ‘what say who?’ or ‘who says what?’, just totally indifferent. With ultimate awareness. Looking and listening to everything without seemingly being affected. I love that life.

It’s up to fifteen minutes now, I have a date. A date with someone I haven’t met before. But anytime we chat or exchange text messages, I feel something in my stomach. What makes me feel that way, I don’t know. And that is the main reason for being here, I want to know the reason behind all the sparkling and tingling emotions I always feel when we’re chatting with each other even without ever seeing ourselves before.

Some people say “Like attract like,” I don’t know. But today, am going to find out. But the problem is: the girl was a friend of my girlfriend. Yeah! Am having some feelings for my girlfriend’s tight friend. Or let’s just say, my feeling is having feelings for my girlfriend’s tight friend. Because I am not the one having feelings. It was my feeling that is having feelings for emotional something else. Like, attract like? Wonderful.

But what else can I do? Falling in love with my girlfriend’s tight friend. This is a crazy mission.

I don’t want to do this. But my girlfriend caused it. She never gives me total maintenance as the one am giving her. Which is the main root of all this problem.

I don’t easily double dates. But when the person who is dating starts turning herself into something she was not, then I have to change gears. Find another embodiment that is worth it.

I love my girlfriend. But it seem, that my girlfriend didn’t love me. Or she just didn’t love me that much. She was full of excuses. Not having time was her hobby. Always busy like airport floors. As if other people are wasting their time going on dates or meeting their loved ones.

But heaven is working in alignment with my goals. She called me on her tight friend’s cell phone. This means I can now tell her friend how she’s treating me before I break up with her.

I did try my best to pinpoint where she was behaving stupidly. But my girlfriend refused to listen.

I sometimes call her friend. Explain what am passing through with her friend. And she always advised me to keep on enduring. But the question is: How long will I wait, for my girlfriend to start treating me with total dignity and respect? Maybe I’ll wait for the rest of my life?

“God forbid,” my girlfriend tight friend replied, “I know you love my friend, and I understand what you’re feeling. Please, try to hold on a little.”

“It’s okay,” I said, “I will try my best.”

But yet, nothing changed. Instead of my girlfriend telling me the truth if she loves me or not, she was playing a mind game. Fooling the reality out of me and telling me she didn’t have time. That she was busy every day. That even if she did want to come, where I was staying is too far. And besides, she was shy coming there. What a joke? Telling me you’re not interested anymore is better than giving all these bitter excuses.

Maybe I have chosen the wrong girl.

Telling me you’re busy today and claiming you’re shy tomorrow is the same as saying I don’t worth your time. What the fuck is fucking this girl? Why can’t she be straight with me? She could just tell me she’s not interested anymore instead of trying to fool my brain.

With my ultimate honesty and the outrageous feelings of love, after talking to my girlfriend’s tight friend, I started falling for her.

No way! I told myself. What will people say about me? Falling in love with my girlfriend’s tight friend? Isn’t this a joke? Telling her I love her? This might be the end of everything.

I started getting furious about my fuckup mind. Why on earth would you fall for someone just like that? My girlfriend’s tight friend? This is crazy.

I keep on struggling, troubling myself not to do that. Falling in love with someone that means much to my girlfriend? This is total nonsense. I have to work more on my brain and discipline the fucked my emotions. Why am I becoming spoiled?

I keep on suppressing my feelings until I didn’t have the power to do so.

And then I finally walked up to my girlfriend’s tight friend and say, … … …

“Jane, am sorry, I love you,”

I was feeling stupid and uneasy. But anyway, I continued,

“I know you’re going to feel wronged. I know you’re going to feel misunderstood. But to God who made me, I am tired of your friend. What else can I do? Continue being tortured by her love? No! I can’t. It’s just that, you’ve occupied my mind. Please Jane, be my woman.”

I don’t know if this will be the end of everything or not. But there was a lesson I learned for a decade now: always be honest with your feelings. But sometimes, our feelings deeply fuck us up. And yes, it is fucking me up now.

She went deep into thinking. Maybe calculating everything. Loss and gain. Left or right. Thinking it through. It was depressing. She sighed. Maybe getting panicked, because she was sweating.

After three minutes of silence, both of us looking at each other. Sometimes she looked away and was feeling uneasy. But then she said,

“I also love you.”

The mission.

READ PART TWO HERE: The Mission (Part Two)

Total Misconstrued

You know, our people need more lies than talking in their films. Jet Li.

Do you have a goal, a dream and or an ambition? Maybe yes and or maybe no. Not everyone can answer such questions.

Thinking is wonderful. And assuming is excellent. I always combined the two. Even when the two are giving me headaches.

The future is bright, at least to those who have a vision. Although it might take them more than two part of their lifetime, and yet, they won’t give up. At the age of seventy-two, still dreaming of building a mansion. I don’t know who will live there. Maybe the grandson? But anyway, it’s still okay, at least for the visionary man. I say life is not balanced.

While some people are spending everything, in the name of living life to the fullest, some people are keeping everything, all because they’re waiting for the right time. Different people with different characters. All in all with different illusions. What a beautiful person.

I don’t plan about anything. I only live a day at a time. Sometimes I get nervous. Seeing almost everyone around me getting busy. Serious like hell. Burning their ass up and down. I say wonderful! May these people never be wise, so that the average man continues working his ass off. Chasing dreams he will be smacking his face for the next ten years because that shouldn’t be what he should be chasing. But no way, he just has to do something. Because people are doing something. Extraordinarily superb! We need a conqueror.

People that will put on a smiling face, even when every vein in their body was shouting in agony, crying in pain. They will still keep on moving. Chasing dreams they’re not interested in achieving. But they just have to chase it. Because people are chasing something.

Being a maniac, we all have our dizziness. Crying when we should be sleeping and weeping when we should be looking for a mob. Very interesting. We took almost everything in the wrong way. Sleeping, talking, drinking, assuming all at the same time. A permanent misconstrued. Where we don’t know exactly what we should do. But there’s a solution. At least, doing something to numb the usefulness. Thinking and assuming, all at the same time. I wonder why our brains didn’t crash. Smacking it, filling it with jargon. All in hope of finding answers, when in reality, we could’ve been what we meant to be. A total permanent misconstrued. No one understands shit!

Take out the nerves. Relax some tendons. And finally ask yourself, “What gives me the panic of getting left behind? Maybe the people around me? Or maybe I was just overhyping something?” Be sure to give it enough thought. Not everything deserves your ultimate care.

Everyone has his/her own decisions to make. So don’t put emotions into everything you do. The person you love might not be emotionally invested in you. Don’t stress it. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we want. So feel free to express your feelings, and allow your partner to do so. By doing that we reduce the load on both parties. Always be the light-hearted one. The one who took everything like a stand gadget. Always thinking straight. Not remembering everything. The best way to live a happy life.

You don’t need another pattern.

Your destiny has already been sealed. Fumbling in eradicating won’t feel your vibes.

Instead of overwhelming yourself about what to do next. Take a deep breath and uncover yourself. What exactly makes you feel good? Because feeling good is all about everything.

If gambling is your thing. Instead of forcing yourself anytime, you lost the game, learn how to stake wisely. Never play the game you’re not certain about. And if you’re hundred percent sure, remember, not even a genius can predict your heavens sake. You can only beat a guessing game. The one you have total awareness of losing out.

And if you don’t know anything about betting. Let no one fool you, telling you people who are betting their lives away are all useless. That’s a lie. Betting helps some people figure out their lives. But if instead of being meaningful and successful, betting is worsting your life away, driving away all the glory you could have used to further the cause of your life, my advice for you is to stop it. Just remember that not everyone gambling their lives is a reck. Some people have governed the tech with a winning hand.

So believing everyone playing their lives away is all wasting their time. That because you’re serious like hell means you’re off better than them is a total misconstrued. Not only are you feeding yourself a lie. But you’re also stopping yourself from facing the reality. Not everything seems the way that it appeared.

Be a gentle man in a gentle mannered. Looking and seeing everything with a wonderful calmness. Evaluating and calculating morally. Without seemingly sensitivity to wrongdoings.

Doing that, you will surely rise to the top.

You don’t discriminate against anyone. Nor are you looking down on anything. You just sit back and calculate everything.

And when the reality hit the fans, you’ve already got your plan. And according to one of my mentors. He said;

Yeah! That was me quoting myself. Not from one of my fucking mentors.’

“I Wish No One Really Wish Me A Happy Birthday.”

I know my articles always be a turnup stood. It is either am being great or am being poor. But today, I realized, my life could have been better if I did did what I am supposed to do.

I don’t know anything about life. Nor am I planning to be a crazy asshole. But why? Why haven’t I become great?

There are so many opportunities in this life. Couples with some unbreakable talents. But here I am wasting everything away all because I couldn’t give it honest-to-god try. Why?

I have a destiny. A miracle to make my life count. And yet, I was so stupid chasing dreams, goals that I wouldn’t care about. What a useless life?

I wish you don’t wish me a happy birthday. I don’t think I deserve all this.

Because of me some people are suffering. Because of me so many people are living a useless life. And because of me those that could have been great didn’t become great. Then what the fuck am I doing with my life?

Am I not wasting the best beautiful time that I’ve been got? Am I not being a useless fellow?

To God who made me I really wanted to be great.

‘Yes! I really wanted to be a useful hero.’ (This is me crying because I realized I was living a useless life).

I know I wouldn’t have a second chance.

I know there’s no assurance of coming back here. Even if I did want to, I might not end up being here. So, why am I wasting my time?

I have the talent, but, I don’t know why I haven’t succeeded. Is it dedication? Maybe yes! But what exactly is it that I have to do that will make me succeed? What exactly is the purpose of me being here? Why am I being a useless fellow?

You might think that am getting nut. Well, maybe yes. Because there’s no point of me being here without making my life count.

I don’t know about you. But for me, my life must be something. I must amount to something great. I must look at myself in the mirror and say, “Yeah fuck you Lasisi for living a useless life.”

But there’s still a solution .. .. ..

There’s still a solution for me to be happy. There’s still enough time for me to change my life.

Many people will say yes to this thing. They will say yes because I haven’t been a good kid. But I tell you, I will never be something that you want me to be. I will never amount to that meaning of your wonderful life.

I have my dream. I have my own ambitions. And I have my own personal ways of life. Believe me, I am not here to make anyone happy. Instead, I am here to kick you in the ass. That, “Why are you also living a useless life?”

Fuck you for giving me a reason.

Fuck you for telling me your sisters caused it. And yes fuck you for saying, “You know, I could have make a good use of my time, but the challenges are not normal.”

Fuck you now and fuck you forever.

You have to be great.

You have to live a dangerous life. A life where you don’t care about what anyone says about you. As long as you’re becoming what exactly you’ve been dreaming to become.

I know you have a good cause. I believe you really wanted to amount to something great. Believe me, I have the trust in you.

So never give up. Never forget that thing you’ve been dreaming to get. Never settle because it seem you couldn’t live up to your standard. Be a good heroes. A badass. Someone living life on the edge.

And I believe, you will surely succeed.

(After crying I realized, I still have a second chance).

Have a wonderful day.

It’s still your guy, Lasisi.

(And yeah! You can watch my video down there. And of course, I think I look eye-catching. Looolllllzzzzzz).

Me Drinking Coffee. And thanks for this, Investor Y.K. I love you bro. And hey, hope you enjoy it? Gbagam!

Okay now, welcome to my journey so far. I hope you enjoyed it?

It’s okay! Never live a useless life.

Be wise and use your brain! !! !!!

Your Dream! Your Life! Your Goals! Or The People?

Never waste time!

You want to take care of everyone around you. You want to make your mother, your brothers, and your sisters to be able to live a wonderful life. You want to provide for everyone around you to the extend that they will see you and say, “Wow! What a wonderful dude?” But there’s a flaw on this dreams: all these dreams are all overrated. You can never achieve all that. Not even in a million lifetimes. So stop caring about others.

Stop caring about anyone in your families. Stop giving a fuck. You need to be happy ‘first’ before you can make anybody else happy. And how on earth will you achieve your dreams when you’re wasting time thinking about others? How on earth will you become the person of your dream when in reality you’re just trying to gain approval from others?

Please, take yourself out of that fucking stupid mentality. Be a man (a man with true grit) and become dependable on yourself. Live your life according to your values and calculate everything based on your beliefs. And if you have anything you could change concerning your life, your dreams, your goals and or your ambitions kindly have the courage to do so.

Because not living your life based on your beliefs is a better way of being slave. Slaving away your life on something that doesn’t real or doesn’t genuine. Please, kindly be a true hero.

And remember, as you go up in life conquering defeat and facing obstacles. Never waste time on something you don’t really care about. Be it human or things. Always be in mental preparation of moving on. Ability to never waver when it’s time to say goodbye to everyone and everything you’ve already gathered in your life. That’s your best bet to success. Being tolerant to leave everything behind.

I know you really want to take care of your people.

I know you’re planning to make your brothers happy. Building their lives in a way that will make them say, “Yeah, we believe in you bro.” But wait, you can only lead them by example. Not by forcing yourself to do what you don’t really want to do. Live according to your beliefs and let them adjust to their own personal ways of thinking. That’s the best way to live a wonderful normal life.

And hey, am not telling you to stop caring.

Nope!

Nor am I telling you to stop improving.

But hey, am telling you to have a grand values. Something that govern your life.

Why are you doing all the shit you’re doing right now? Why are you achieving all the goals that you’re achieving? And why are you chasing that exponentially beautiful dream?

Is it to make somebody else’s happy or because you’re waiting to prove something wrong? Believe me, none of it actually makes you a healthier somebody. And you must draw a clear boundaries between others.

And hey, who said you shouldn’t care about money?

Yes! Money is good. (Assuming you’re making it for the peace of mind not to satisfy societal needs of shit). And having plenty of it is not even a sin (at least to me, I don’t know about you). Just don’t turn it to your god. Don’t let money be the reason you’re existing. Find ways to add values to life.

Yes! I want you to add more values.

Something that you really cared about.

It may be small and insignificant. At least to some people. But to you, it is something you can’t joke with. This is your life. Your goals. Your dreams. And your ambitions. And you must add values to it.

And remember; never go untested.

Because loving your man, or your woman doesn’t make them above someone who can hurt you. In fact, paying attention to details is your best bet.

Please, no matter what you do in life. No matter the situation you found yourself. No matter who you put your trust in. Never live your life claiming you’ve trust everyone (including yourself).

Being ready at all time to challenge yourself, to challenge people around you, hoping that you could deny yourself the good stuff, and or somebody could deny you the biggest deal is your best weapon of treating life.

Because at the end of the day, no one really cared about shit. We’re all here being a selfish asshole.

So live your life according to your own standard of life.

Not by caring about the stupidity of others.

It is only by doing so you could finally call yourself a happy-go-lucky zebra Dion side giggies.

(Zebra Dion side-giggies ain’t in my dictionary, nor should you find it in your own).

Kindly have a wonderful life.

It’s still your guy, .. .. ..

Lasisi.

Deep Water

No matter how far you go, you can’t escape your fear!

Sitting down, thinking. You realize your life is not going well. You ask yourself: what am I doing with my life? Then you stand up, not understanding. Are you a real person or someone trying to be real? You asked. Actually, no one is with you. It was only you and you.

You breath in, breath out, and you said: this shouldn’t be me. Why am I this fuckup? Why am I living a life so poor I can’t even afford a shawarma chicken gazol in a low fly restaurant? Why is it that everything you lay your hand on always seem like a curse? Like you can’t amount to anything in life.

You think about it, think about it to the point of getting fed up. And you started hurting, hurting in a sense that you’re now bullying yourself.

I knew that am poor. I knew that everything are meant to work against me. Why else will I be facing all this? Why? Why me? You roar like a crazy lion, ready to it it’s prey.

What you don’t realize is that; you’re in a deep water. The one that no matter how you fight yourself, it will never push you up. Unless you chose to surrender first, then it will now push you back. Back to the surface. Where you could experience peace, relaxation and an awesome beauty of life.

You know your dream, you know your destiny, but you were just running from it.

Instead of chosen to face your fear, you’re chosing to run from it. Instead of accepting your destiny, you’re turning the blind eyes. Because it is too hard. People are not making money from it. You think you can’t build a mansion doing it. It’s just too hard.

But the question is: since you’ve been running from it, how much have you achieved? How much did you gain? You didn’t gain anything, but instead you were losing. Both mentally and emotionally.

Your life is a mess to the point that having a good friend is a fist you think you can never reach. Having a spouse is a destination you think you could never attain. You’re now a mess up kid, running around with a single shit of clothes, in a Christmas Carrol environment, only that, you’re now a thirty two, a thirty two adult but still behaving and living a meaningless life like a kid.

To hell with your stupidity.

What if you die tomorrow, will you be happy? Will you be happy with your stupidity? Will you be happy that you didn’t live a life worth remembering? Will you be happy that you didn’t live your real life?

It is better for you to fail. To fail even without achieving your dreams. But it is a regret if you didn’t try. If you didn’t try starting at all talk of achieving it.

You have a life ahead of you. You have a mission to complete. And you have a destination to reach. Not getting there is a shame. A shame for you and a shame for your love ones. But now you need to understand your mission. What is it you really want in life? Not for your boss, your mentor and or your parents. For you. Only you alone.

This is a deep water. A water that no one is there suffering with you. You are the only one that understand your own problem. You’re the one who understand your real shit. Take the pressure off yourself.

No one can help you live your life.

Not me. Not your parents. Not anyone. Only you can face your shit. Please, what do you want out of life?

Do you want to quit your job? Or you want to marry your own man? Do you want to travel the world? Or you want to remain single? Do you have a destination to reach, the one that might not be clear to anyone? Or you’re just thinking about settling down?

But I want you to realize this: no matter what you chose, there must be a sacrifice. A sacrifice that can make you forget all about it. A sacrifice that can make you think, “Yeah, I gotta forget about this dream.”

Many people are coming back to regret their lives. They’re coming back to say, “I really fuckup. Why did I wasted my life for nothing? For something I don’t even understand.” All because they live a life not in line with their values. A life so useless they couldn’t understand why. Why on earth they’re so fuckup?

You need to have a destination in life.

A destination that, even if you didn’t reach there, but at least you try. That you give it all your best, only that, every odd are all against you. And yet, you didn’t give up.

And who said you wouldn’t reach there? Who is that person telling you you couldn’t be great? Even if there’s that such person. Is it a must for you to believe in him?

Your God didn’t believe that. I don’t know if your God is a woman or man, but He didn’t want you to live a useless life. A life you’re not happy in it. No. He doesn’t want that. He want you to be happy. He want you to say, “Yes! I finally make it. I finally figure out my life. I finally succeed.”

That is the wishes of your God for you. He knows you’re in a deep water. But instead of struggling. He want you to relax, breath in and breath out and say, “Okay, I know that I’m in a deep shit. But how can I bring myself back to the top?”

And believe me, everything will turn out all good.

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