I know my articles always be a turnup stood. It is either am being great or am being poor. But today, I realized, my life could have been better if I did did what I am supposed to do.
I don’t know anything about life. Nor am I planning to be a crazy asshole. But why? Why haven’t I become great?
There are so many opportunities in this life. Couples with some unbreakable talents. But here I am wasting everything away all because I couldn’t give it honest-to-god try. Why?
I have a destiny. A miracle to make my life count. And yet, I was so stupid chasing dreams, goals that I wouldn’t care about. What a useless life?
I wish you don’t wish me a happy birthday. I don’t think I deserve all this.
Because of me some people are suffering. Because of me so many people are living a useless life. And because of me those that could have been great didn’t become great. Then what the fuck am I doing with my life?
Am I not wasting the best beautiful time that I’ve been got? Am I not being a useless fellow?
To God who made me I really wanted to be great.
I know I wouldn’t have a second chance.
I know there’s no assurance of coming back here. Even if I did want to, I might not end up being here. So, why am I wasting my time?
I have the talent, but, I don’t know why I haven’t succeeded. Is it dedication? Maybe yes! But what exactly is it that I have to do that will make me succeed? What exactly is the purpose of me being here? Why am I being a useless fellow?
You might think that am getting nut. Well, maybe yes. Because there’s no point of me being here without making my life count.
I don’t know about you. But for me, my life must be something. I must amount to something great. I must look at myself in the mirror and say, “Yeah fuck you Lasisi for living a useless life.”
But there’s still a solution .. .. ..
There’s still a solution for me to be happy. There’s still enough time for me to change my life.
Many people will say yes to this thing. They will say yes because I haven’t been a good kid. But I tell you, I will never be something that you want me to be. I will never amount to that meaning of your wonderful life.
I have my dream. I have my own ambitions. And I have my own personal ways of life. Believe me, I am not here to make anyone happy. Instead, I am here to kick you in the ass. That, “Why are you also living a useless life?”
Fuck you for giving me a reason.
Fuck you for telling me your sisters caused it. And yes fuck you for saying, “You know, I could have make a good use of my time, but the challenges are not normal.”
Fuck you now and fuck you forever.
You have to be great.
You have to live a dangerous life. A life where you don’t care about what anyone says about you. As long as you’re becoming what exactly you’ve been dreaming to become.
I know you have a good cause. I believe you really wanted to amount to something great. Believe me, I have the trust in you.
So never give up. Never forget that thing you’ve been dreaming to get. Never settle because it seem you couldn’t live up to your standard. Be a good heroes. A badass. Someone living life on the edge.
And I believe, you will surely succeed.
Have a wonderful day.
It’s still your guy, Lasisi.
(And yeah! You can watch my video down there. And of course, I think I look eye-catching. Looolllllzzzzzz).
Okay now, welcome to my journey so far. I hope you enjoyed it?
I have to dedicate this one to the big boss – David Goggins. The bad of the baddest. A retired Navy SEAL. Hell week master. Operation being the best among the baddest. I respect you man. #Salute – #Down.
Okay, not everyone will be a Navy SEAL.
And not all of us will become a soldier. But all of us can become whatever the hell we really wanted to become.
I don’t know what you want in your own life. But am certain of one thing – everyone want to be a better person. Or let say a better somebody. But the question is:
“Are you ready to do the ground work?”
Because sitting down there talking about it all day isn’t going to help anybody. We want you to take a bold step. And then take another step. Until no one is there reminding you again.
And here, let be honest.
It is not easy to become great.
Maybe your teacher is not telling you. Even after going through heaven disqualified devil college degrees, you’re still going to face shit. Because landing your dream job is another journey entirely.
And if you happen to read too much, maybe in the jungle of being a scholar, and your credentials is now over the top, then am welcoming you to a life of disappointment, where everyone think you’re too good to be true, and the company that is trying to employ you now start a board of directors meeting, in the sense of asking themselves if they should employ you or not, because your certificate is threatening their post, and threatening their post mean they gonna get a kick-out, because having you is like having a big boss, where they can’t decide on their own, because your certificate is too much.
Welcome to new York.. .. .. Oh sorry, I mean new life.
Although you didn’t offend anyone. But having what others don’t even know existed is enough a crime. Am serious.
Both your talent and skills are already a gathering for the devil. Where everyone think you’re challenging them. But you don’t know. You just think you’re doing your own thing without giving a fuck about anyone. Yeah! Not giving a shit. The best crime in the history of books and novels. Wake up!
Your destiny will challenge so many life.
Either you’re now ready or not is up to you.
Since the day you were born. You’ve been destined to fight. Forget about being a warrior. You’re a warrior already. Either you win this battle is all that left to you.
And listen attentively; God won’t help a fool, a coward and or a master of an easy craft. Someone who only believe in story. Fuck’em all.
We want a determined soul. A mind full of gravity. Pushing through the direction of his giving, his calling. That’s what we want. Not your typical go-to neighbor. A fool at his own chosen. Very useless dude.
Okay, enough of crap!
The only thing that is making your life seem unbearable is this:
You’re chasing the wrong goals.
You don’t know what you want. That’s all I could think of. Because looking back at my life, I realized, the best worsiest time of my life is when I realize am chasing something that doesn’t add values to me, something I don’t really care about, but just chasing it anyway. That’s my worsiest time.
But now I can see better, think clearly and analyze myself. “Why am I chasing this?” “What if I didn’t succeed?” “Is anyone going to question me?” “What if they ask me?” “Do I have anything to tell them?” Okay. “What if I didn’t talk?” Alright. “What about saying the truth?” “Do I really believe in my course?” Etc., Etc.
And believe me, the moment am capable enough to answer those questions without considering anyone in the process, I started feeling like king. Like am the owner of my own life. No family to report to. No friends to explain my want. No siblings to ask me. And most importantly. No parents to say, “Hey Lasisi, you gotta do it this way or else we’re going to disown you!” Believe me, it was a true freedom. Where you do things according to your own plan. Very interesting.
But there’s a problem though: you’re going to face your own shit, alone.
There’s no one to turn back to. All of them are all waiting for you to succeed or better still failed. Because your failure will make them say the harsh evil speech they’ve been preparing all day long, .. ..
“But we told you!”
Told. Me. What…??? Are you fucking nut???
That’s the reason am not giving up.
Am not giving anyone the chance to say that shit. It will become rusted in their own guts. Not able to spit it out. That’s my promise.
So forget about motivation. Ask yourself the main reason you’re achieving your goal. And let the reason motivate you.
By doing that. I promised, you won’t ever give up. No matter what the challenges.
I don’t know much about success. Nor do I care about it. But ask me anything about failure. And I will fill your day with both joy and suffering.
People say successful people also start small in their lives. I doubt them. Maybe not when you’re suffering like me. Maybe they might have given up.
One glimpse at me. And you’ll be thanking your God. Not that am that useless. But my life is a mess.
Someone said the owner of Facebook also dropped out from college? Maybe because he has a good background? I also wanted to dropped out too. But I didn’t even went to any. College or school? It might be for the upper class.
I manage to locate my tooth brush. Worn out, but still getting the job done.
Today was another interview. In a company I can’t even pronounce the name. Hab-Arg-Tech Contriohology & Co. Int’l Contractor.
Maybe I understand the Co. And maybe the ‘Con’ and the ‘tractor’ as well. But the remaining name? Maybe when I get there. I will ask the interviewer. I doubt he/she will understand.
I look for work almost everyday. Some of the interviewer can’t even tell you the name of their company without glancing at a book. Almost unpronounceable.
I think that will be my first assignment. Assuming they employ me. The first thing we’re going to do is to change the name of the company. ‘Harb Arg Tech’ something is not suiting my liking.
I brushed my teeth and took out my sandal. Maybe this is the reason I haven’t found work. I only got two. Same color, same model and same type. You can wear it every season. Rubber type. Raining and sunny, you’re free to go.
People say ‘the way you dress is the way you’ll be addressed,’ maybe they’re right. It just that. I don’t have any, apart from this.
I sometimes see my colleagues. Or let say my rivals. Also looking for job. Some wear expensive suits. Under the same sun like me. I wonder how many they’ve got. Because wearing it almost everyday, looking for job? Not an easy task.
But me? Only round neck. Maybe three. Two fitted polo. And ‘none’ T-shirt. T-shirt companies should fuck themselves. And I have eight trousers. Same type and same color. Just like the sandal.
Maybe because am jobless. I don’t know. But ask anyone who know me. And the story will never change. They will tell you the same story. Wearing the same color all day. That’s my style.
I took my bag. Nothing much inside. I hate credentials. But because of all these fuckup companies. I made one up. Lying all over it. Telling work experience you never got. And the one you got, telling them it’s seven years experience. When in actuality, it was six months. But I think they love it that way. So I have to comply.
I have to be on time. Eight ‘O’ clock this morning. Our interview time. I think we’re going to be many. Big company like that. They’re always full of employee. Or maybe employees. English is wide. But as long as you can understand yourself. That’s all that matter.
Am a man of time. So I never wasted it. Should you waste it for me? Then you’re looking for trouble. Big one.
I checked my wallet. Still got up to ten dollars. It will do.
I entered the street. Now almost quarter pass seven. At least warming up will do. And it will save my expenses. Another hard earn lesson: Always spend less than you earn. And am not even earning. At least for now. So I’ve got to incorporate some tactics.
I got there exactly seven forty five.
Some dude are already gathering. I don’t know if they ever slept at all. Because of interview? Yes sir, you better hold your job. Some people think am not serious. Well, if you say so.
Three guys and two women. Almost dress to nine. Expensive suits and so. Maybe they rent it? Who knows? But anyway, it was fantastic. Meeting some dude trying to impress the manager, or the company, or the sales manager, or the sales person? Who ever the fuck it will be. Going to be interesting. Or so I guess.
I looked around. Nothing much. We’re all waiting outside the company. Opening time is eight. So we still have up to fourteen minutes. Very cool.
Two of the guys was hanging together. Maybe they’re friends? Or they’re just knowing each other? Whatever. Suffering mentality always pair people together. Sharing the same experience. From how their country was bad to how economic was driving everyone crazy. Maybe talk about girls? I doubt it. These ones are not looking like the type. The type who chased women. They look like normal dude. The one you’ll be talking about religion all day, without anyone getting tired. That’s their type.
The two women. Maybe thirty and thirty-three. Seating differently. On a pavement. Not too far from each other. One look like someone you wouldn’t try to mess with. Maybe she’s into power lifting. The other one, around thirty. She was dope. My type. She dressed normal. Not like someone looking for job. But like someone who got it already.
I evaluated myself. Doing good. But not very good. Among these pairs? Rest assured, am going to be rated last.
But that ain’t the problem. Am not here to contest. Am here for job. And you can rate me all you want. That’s your problem.
The other guy. Permanently hanging alone. Maybe the same type like me? People who hate talking. Especially when you don’t know anyone. He was doing okay. And it seem I gave him respect. But I don’t know why.
Ten minutes past eight.
People started coming in. Mostly the staff. Or customers? I can’t say. But I was wondering: why did you told us eight when you’re not even going to be ready by nine? Because this is ten minutes past eight. And this fucking company is not yet opens. It seem they’re stupid or something. I think that will be the case.
Instead of me wasting their time. Now they’re wasting mine. It’s okay. I told myself. We waited.
Eight twenty-five, more people coming in. Big cars. Very expressive one. We waited.
Exactly eight-forty. They told us to come in. Everyone staggered over. Changing gears and changing attitude. Some are smiling. Even after waiting for that long? Fools.
Some put on ‘am a nice one’ attitude. I didn’t care. Instead I smirk. Ready to punch the manager in the gut. Keeping me waiting since seven forty-five? He must be crazy.
We all entered.
One dude was leading us upstair. Maybe second floor. But we didn’t stopped until we reach the last floor. Maybe thirteen story building. I could have counted that before.
I was losing my cool. What kind of stupid company is this? Wasting my time since morning. And now you’re dragging us all the way from first floor to the last one without entering the lift. Is your brain not working or you’re just leading us on purpose? I waited.
After the awkward walk. We all entered an open space. Maybe conference room? Or maybe visitors room? Perhaps marketing and distribution room? Maybe they will explain that. So I waited.
The dude that was leading us signaled to us. As if telling us to wait here. Although there’s enough seat. But the way he waved his hand didn’t prove that. It was something like: you people should wait for me here, am coming.
But I was one of this crazy dude you wouldn’t like to employ in your company. Unless you’ve learn to understand some protocol. I didn’t always follow rules. I always find ways to break them. Or bending them. Am good at bending. That’s what I thought.
I looked around. Glance at the three dude before me. As if telling them: guys, I gonna seat here. This fucking company doesn’t understand shit.
I waited almost one hour outside. And took another meaningless walk. Are you now telling me to still stood up like a fool? You must be mad.
I found myself a comfortable seat. But I don’t know what happened to the kids. They’re all hanging there looking at me. As if I am one of this major statue in the presidential assembly. And the dude I thought was superb. The one standing alone outside. He was also staring at me. Hanging with the cowards? Now I hate this guy. I thought he was brave back then. Fuck you! I said in my head. Another lesson learned: not every tough dude are tough dude.
I sat and they stood for another five minutes or so. And finally, one asshole later drag his ass out.
Without wasting time he said,
“Ladies and gent.. .. ..” he paused, looked at me and then looked at the stupid dumbasses hanging there. “Gentle men, why ain’t you seating down?” He asked.
They were fools. I thought.
With awkward silences. They all find the nearest seat and sat down. And the asshole continue.
“As we know, this company is one of the biggest companies in this city. And our expertise is based on Agro Gallic and some Liquid in the business arena.” He paused. Maybe checking reactions. He continued, “We believe everyone here understand the purpose of this gathering?” Maybe he was asking us or he was confirming it. I can’t say. “We want everyone to dedicate their ability, intelligence and the power of their thinking to bring the best out of this company. And also, we’re expecting individual to be punctal at their given field.” No way! I thought to myself. You stupid asshole. Now telling us to be punctal huh? After wasting the best hour of our time outside. Plus that stupid walk huh? Now in conjunction with your stupid speech? Fuck you! Yeah fuck you a million times. And he finally rounded up, “Now, I will call Mr. Jones to collect all your credentials and submitted it to my office and you’ll wait for our call or text. We’ll be sending you the details of your post, your salary and your resumption date. So ladies and gentlemen, we all thank you for your time and understanding. Have a wonderful day.”
And he turn to his left. Maybe looking for his fuckup Mr. Jones.
I coughed. Raised my hand and started talking,
“Sir, I believe we’re all ready to work for the progress of this company.” Always try to appear in their good side first. “But there’s a problem rising up here. You told us to be here by eight and we all did. And in fact some of my colleagues are here probably after six or quarter to seven in this morning hoping to be punctal when in reality we’re all just doing it on purpose only to get the job done first. And what brings the surprised is the fact that the company itself is not opening by eight but after eight-forty. Then tell us, what makes you wasted our time for so long?” All eyes on me with killer eyebrows pecking some holes around me. Both Mr. Jones and the asshole was staring at me as if I was a demon. As am about to seat down I said, “And again, that Mr. Jones took us here all the way from the first floor to the last floor without seemingly affected. Please tell us, is your lift not working or you didn’t have any?” And I sat down. Waiting for who ever has the gut to speak.
After twenty seconds of awkwardness.
Mr. Jones did.
“Gentle man, this is a company not a place to be dragging matters. Can you all please drop your credentials?” He looked at the dumbasses.
I love him. Very well trained. Business like. Intelligent. Original fuck-face. God punished you. I cursed him inside.
With everyone probably cursing at me in return. They all stood up and submitted their CV. I was the only one remaining on my seat.
“Gentle man, can you drop your credentials?” The asshole was the one asking me this time. I didn’t respond. I shrugged and said,
“I think no one cares about answering my questions?”
Always stubborn. That was my style. No one ever override me with bullshit. And am alway ready to fight.
“Gentle man, do you realize you’re in a company?” The asshole was trying to scare me. Or maybe warn me. I sneered.
“At least am not signing a contract.” I shot back. Always prepare for war.
“Okay, can you please tell us your objective?”
“Of course I am more than happy to help.” I said, trying to emphasize every word. “Firstly, you told us to be here by eight and we’re expecting the company to be punctal with their time as well but they didn’t. And instead of the company to apologize for that once and for all you’re asking us to dedicate our life to your company. How are we going to do that? For a company that doesn’t care about our well-being but only the progress of the company? Let assume we all came late. And we all dragged our asses here exactly ten ‘o’ clock? Isn’t that mean we’re disrespecting the company? So for this being said, I want the company and the board of management to understand the importance of dealing with time. And with due respect, am begging you all my colleagues to please forgive the company for their poor management of time. Thank you all.” And I shut the fuckup. Took my file and submitted it to Mr. Jones. Took the first step. The second step. And the third step.
“Hun- Hun- Hun,” Mr. Jones was clearing his throat, “Gentle man. What is your name?”
Even with all the fact that my file was in your hand, you’re still asking for my name? I smirked, turn back and said,
“I am Chass, Lake Chass.”
And I walked out of the room. Out of the company. Stopped a taxi. And the driver took me out of the fucking mess.
Back was the day when I used to suffer. But now – it seem – I have become lazy!
I was a warrior back then. Living everyday as if am going to die tomorrow. Not caring about what anyone says about me. But now? It seem- I am getting lazy.
My country is turning us to a fool. Where they were twisting our brains like a stupid robot. Killing us with unwanted dramas. And here we are … … Well – nothing we can do.
I don’t want to put myself in that drama. I am happy alone without any government. Let them continue using their tactics. And for the masses? Tah!!! They always get used to it. Shutting down filling station all day. Hardly seeling fuel at all. And if we manage to see one opening? People has already beating themselves over it. Fuck us all.
Their problem is not my problem. I have a bigger problem for myself.
How will I survived all this?
How am I going to tackle this problem? My country is turning the masses to their liking. What can I do to escape this rubbish? Looking everywhere is enough a panic. People deciding their faith on government. What stupid government was that? The one that is using our own decisions to tackle us?
This government understand better. They knew they can just make the masses decide on their own when they make them suffer. And who wouldn’t make the tough decisions when they’re suffering? But for me? I am chosing to make my own decisions .. .. maybe I should become crazy again? That might be the better option. But in which crazy?- I thought. Well .. .. ..
I won’t believe in the masses again.
Back was the day where I used to jog all around. Crazy maniac. Running all day with a broken leg. I just recovered from an ankle fracture and am still forcing myself to adapt to a crazy life ahead of me. And now it seem I have to go back to the same mentality.
Going back to your cookie jar. That is the best place to find yourself. You gotta tell yah, “I’ve done this before. And I gotta do it now!” David Goggins.
Things are getting worst. And to say the truth: someone need to become heavier. Heavier for the challenges not to be able to carry you away. And there’s no way I could become that without getting crazy. Being normal has not been solving any problems. And I don’t think it will do now. So the best option is to be – well. Crazy.
If suffering is the key then so be it.
After all running from it won’t make it reduce except to make it worse. So therefore, I am ready for it.
I don’t easily believe in people. Nor am I trusting anyone. People are not running my race. I am the only one running it. So listening to them is a waste of time. I can always decide on my own.
And now I have to face the truth: people are going to laugh about me. They’re going to say, “Well done. Everything has now town upside down for him.” And of course that’s the truth: things has changed.
But there’s one thing though: .. ..
I have come to the fundamental understanding – I am going to experience shit. Very big one. But I will always remember this: .. .. ..
The level of your preparation will determine the level of your performance.
And there’s no way you’re going to succeed without first facing your demon. And my demon is myself: am I ready to fight this war? Both for myself and the people I really care about? Am I ready to push through?
Am not talking about government. Government will not help me. I am talking about myself. What values do I hold to elevate myself? What are the things I can do to succeed? What are the sure but hard ways to conquer all this?
I might be a laughing stock – yes, that one is certain. But what if in the next ten years and no one has the courage to laugh at me again? What if in the next ten years things has changed and people are now seeing me in a different light?
And no, am not talking about five years – because five years is too small. Building a website writing shit you don’t even know people gonna read is a sure way to remain poor. But what if something just click right? What if you try all the way from now till that ten years and something just suddenly pump-up from no where and turn your stories all around? Yeah! That’s my believe. A believe no one could ever change. And if at last nothing happened? Then am okay. At least I gave it all the best in me, it just that I didn’t manage to succeed.
And believe me: I don’t really care about failure. People have been mocking me all the days of my life. I was a rebel since the beginning of my day. And the only way to survive all this trauma is for me to become great. So that I could change my story.
God has giving me the talent.
How am going to make good use of it is my problem. This destiny must be fulfilled.
What are the purpose of my existence? Am I just going to waste this talent? No way! I need to make a good use of it.
If God gave you any gift, don’t expect Him to do it for you. You’re going to face the reality head-on. You’re going to face your fear.
Starting the race is not even the big deal – everyone could do that. But finishing it is the main point. Are you going to push all the way to the end or you’re going to give up just right there?
Forget about genetic. And also- forget about getting lucky.
That is what I always tell myself. Yes! Some people will get lucky. And some people will have the favor of their genetics. But not everyone will have that. Some of us are destined to work our ass off. No more and no less.
So if you’re among the crazy legend. You’re among those who have their destiny intact. You need to understand that; you might not easily succeed. Hence, you’re going to work your ass off. Boiling and toiling all day. And yet, not actually sure if you could make it.
That is another harsh reality of life.
Not everyone will succeed.
And those who do should have the understanding to thank their God. They should appreciate His living presence. Because some people are only destine to work in vain.
All my prayer is that – both me and you will never be among the said people. The people that will work in vain. Because am certain .. .. .. Our place is at the top.
Instead of me taking both of my time and resources very seriously, I was wasting my life chasing goals that I didn’t really cared about.
Instead of me seeing the realities amongst the girls that I dated, I choose to see what I really wanted to see. That I really loved them. I really cared about them. Hell, I even convince myself that a man will leave everything behind and take proper care of his woman without asking myself where the hell this thought even came from.
I was just a total loser. I follow every woman who show any interest in me (even if her only goal is to use me and squeeze anything squeezable out of me) without asking myself “What do I really want from women?” What a stupid fucking moron I was?
I didn’t pay much attention to myself, my life and my overall well-being. And there I am, paying both my time and resources on girls that doesn’t really care about me. Girls that (really) knows what they want, what they’re looking for, and what they really wanted to get. I mean girls that are really wiser than me. (I really really regretted it all).
I thought being true to myself mean others being true to me. No! Absolutely no! I really didn’t understand better. People want you to believe what they really want you to believe not what you really wanted to believe. They want you to see what they really want to see not what you really wanted to see. And worst of it all, you also wanted to see what you really want to see instead of seeing the realities as it is. What a fuckup world?
We all fucked up – big times. We all do crazy shit. We all look ourselves in the mirror and say “Yeah man, I gonna be great, I gonna walk up to my dream girl, build myself up and finally become the president of my state.” And after five years of being great then you realized; “You haven’t become shit.” You’re still there fucking and dreaming around.
We need to wake up man! We need to look ourselves in that mirror and tell the truth we didn’t wanted to hear. You’re not great you know. You’re not doing shit. You’re not even making any use of your time. Believe me, you’re just dreaming around. Dreaming dreaming dreaming without taking actions.
Stop the stupid shit. Stop making stupid decisions. Stop paying attention to what really doesn’t need your care. Be wise man!
I know you don’t really want to believe shit. I know you still love the feelings of being great without actually being great. You love every possibilities around meeting new women but without necessarily ready to do the ground work? No! You just can’t be great. You just can’t be feeling it and thinks it’s easily going to happen. And believe me, women will continue to dump you if you can’t really find your way out.
News flash: Women doesn’t really care about you. They don’t give a shit who you be. If you’re not adding values they’re not showing interest. If you’re not living great they’re not tagging along. And if you’re not providing they’re not thinking marriage. That’s the realities we all have to deal with. So be wise and live your life without giving too much thought about women, and be prepared to shut the fuck up and walk away when any girl started planning shit before you. Because at the end of the day, women easily walk away without caring much about your feelings, and make up some stupid bunch of standard excuses of not able to continue being with you. Use your brain! What? I said “Use your fucking brain.”
Instead of chasing girls that doesn’t really care about you? Chase your dreams. Instead of caring about women who will later dump you without saying or pointing what you did wrong? Take care of your life. Instead of believing what you really wanted to believe? Face the realities. Make your life count and see how many women come back hunting for you.
Yeah, you heard that right?
Women will come back fighting for you instead of you killing yourself up for them now. (Although many will still hate you no matter what you are. But at least, you won’t be wasting your life away).
And for that being said for now . . .
Have gat to fuck off and go live my wonderful dreams. Because, nothing ever comes out from being talking but not doing.