“God will never give out money, He can only give out the ideas.”

I was worried. Yes. But not about mundane things. I was worried because I couldn’t figure out my life.

I know, people say you should figure out your purpose. Yes… I have. But what about finance? What about sleepless night worrying about debt? Some will say I shouldn’t worry about the small stuff. That I should focus on the big picture. But wait…!! What big picture are they talking about? When am still struggling to put food on the table? No way! I have to say a BIG No!

It’s not that I don’t want to believe in the fallacy, “Yeah, find what you love doing and you wouldn’t work the rest of your life,” fuck it! We gotta work our ass off. We gotta do the shit we didn’t wanted to do. ‘There’s no money, and am also hanging on a debt, and you’re telling me to believe on my dream? Which fucking dream..!!?’ but the reality is right here staring me in the face: I am broke. Period.

But upon all these calamities, I can still see something I didn’t manage to see (at least back then). I didn’t manage to understand that, “God will never give you money, He can only pass you the idea,” very liberating.

I was one of a hardcore, at least when talking about life. I only believe in living a simple life. Sometimes the idea of getting married make me sick. While sometimes I just feel like doing nothing. But mostly I hate the responsibility. Having to deal with emotions, asking whereabouts, differences in values and much more. It doesn’t seem cool to me. But then I decide; if God can give idea on how to overcome all these huddles, then why wouldn’t He do the same in relationship? Believe me, I was left dumbfounded.

That means to say, I was the one making the stuff up. I was the one affecting my life. God didn’t sent me to borrow money, I was the one coming up with the idea. Although, if the money I borrowed really yield a good wonderful return, well, I wouldn’t be here ranting. But yeah, we all have our own unique stupidity of making our lives more miserable. Making decisions we shouldn’t have made. But now, it seem have learned some lessons.

So instead of beating myself up. I want to eradicate this. I want to find some ways out. Maybe, I mean maybe, I might come out victorious at the end of this tunnel.

…because right now, I can only keep on hoping.

“I Wish No One Really Wish Me A Happy Birthday.”

I know my articles always be a turnup stood. It is either am being great or am being poor. But today, I realized, my life could have been better if I did did what I am supposed to do.

I don’t know anything about life. Nor am I planning to be a crazy asshole. But why? Why haven’t I become great?

There are so many opportunities in this life. Couples with some unbreakable talents. But here I am wasting everything away all because I couldn’t give it honest-to-god try. Why?

I have a destiny. A miracle to make my life count. And yet, I was so stupid chasing dreams, goals that I wouldn’t care about. What a useless life?

I wish you don’t wish me a happy birthday. I don’t think I deserve all this.

Because of me some people are suffering. Because of me so many people are living a useless life. And because of me those that could have been great didn’t become great. Then what the fuck am I doing with my life?

Am I not wasting the best beautiful time that I’ve been got? Am I not being a useless fellow?

To God who made me I really wanted to be great.

‘Yes! I really wanted to be a useful hero.’ (This is me crying because I realized I was living a useless life).

I know I wouldn’t have a second chance.

I know there’s no assurance of coming back here. Even if I did want to, I might not end up being here. So, why am I wasting my time?

I have the talent, but, I don’t know why I haven’t succeeded. Is it dedication? Maybe yes! But what exactly is it that I have to do that will make me succeed? What exactly is the purpose of me being here? Why am I being a useless fellow?

You might think that am getting nut. Well, maybe yes. Because there’s no point of me being here without making my life count.

I don’t know about you. But for me, my life must be something. I must amount to something great. I must look at myself in the mirror and say, “Yeah fuck you Lasisi for living a useless life.”

But there’s still a solution .. .. ..

There’s still a solution for me to be happy. There’s still enough time for me to change my life.

Many people will say yes to this thing. They will say yes because I haven’t been a good kid. But I tell you, I will never be something that you want me to be. I will never amount to that meaning of your wonderful life.

I have my dream. I have my own ambitions. And I have my own personal ways of life. Believe me, I am not here to make anyone happy. Instead, I am here to kick you in the ass. That, “Why are you also living a useless life?”

Fuck you for giving me a reason.

Fuck you for telling me your sisters caused it. And yes fuck you for saying, “You know, I could have make a good use of my time, but the challenges are not normal.”

Fuck you now and fuck you forever.

You have to be great.

You have to live a dangerous life. A life where you don’t care about what anyone says about you. As long as you’re becoming what exactly you’ve been dreaming to become.

I know you have a good cause. I believe you really wanted to amount to something great. Believe me, I have the trust in you.

So never give up. Never forget that thing you’ve been dreaming to get. Never settle because it seem you couldn’t live up to your standard. Be a good heroes. A badass. Someone living life on the edge.

And I believe, you will surely succeed.

(After crying I realized, I still have a second chance).

Have a wonderful day.

It’s still your guy, Lasisi.

(And yeah! You can watch my video down there. And of course, I think I look eye-catching. Looolllllzzzzzz).

Me Drinking Coffee. And thanks for this, Investor Y.K. I love you bro. And hey, hope you enjoy it? Gbagam!

Okay now, welcome to my journey so far. I hope you enjoyed it?

It’s okay! Never live a useless life.

Be wise and use your brain! !! !!!

Am Going To Redefine My Life

Maybe am not chasing the right thing.

How many times have you been dragged or beating down to your limit, where you don’t know what really worth shit again in your life?

I have been there more than one million times. But this time, I feel the most worsted part of it.

I couldn’t eat, couldn’t talk, couldn’t drink for complete two days and I hated my life.

All the girls I thought they’re the only ones for me, that without them my life is not complete are completely useless.

None of them really called me talk of visiting.

What of the girl that I thought she’s the one am going to marry? Well, she was the first to dump me once she realized I am not well.

This is not to say I am becoming cynical about girls. And if that’s the case, then so be it. But am saying, right now is the best moments for me to question my life. What if am chasing the wrong goals?

Forget about money! Money ain’t worth shit when your health is under critical construction. Where you’re feeling, talking, reasoning what you might not considered acceptable in your lifetime. And you’re expecting it to happen at that moment of your predicament. Very funny.

I lie down assuming myself to be dead. Feeling what I can’t even explain in my mother’s tongue talk of saying it in English. Very mind consuming.

The sickness lasted for a week (and I lost many business potential but the lessons are enough of substitution).

Some people care about you but you don’t know.

It doesn’t matter who they are but they love you.

And secondly,

Many of your beliefs are fuckup.

Marrying your dream girl, building a house and finding the right man are all because you’re healthy.

If the shit finally hit the fans you’ll forget about everything. How to regain your health will be your number one priority.

And again,

Your life ain’t bad at all.

You think not having money mean you’re useless? Think again!

If you manage to fall sick. As in, you fall deep into sickness, then you’ll realize what am talking about. Nobody will teach you how to understand your life. How to give thanks to Almighty God.

And believe me,

Maybe you don’t really worth shit.

All because people are calling your name front and back doesn’t mean you actually worth shit. Just wait until you’re not normal, then let see if they’re still going to call you.

And to my girlfriends out there, fuck you all. I will never forget your kind. You stupid apocalypse.

And to those who stand by me, I really appreciate you all. May Almighty God shower His blessings.

To those who read my stuff. Am sorry, sickness has hold me down for long. But now, am feeling some backup. So I thank you all.

It seem am going to stop here.

Meet you soon.

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