I don’t know much about women. Nor am I planning to have them. I know it is a destination to reach. And a bridge to cover. But that doesn’t mean I should pursue them.

Based on my mentality. Couples with my social awareness. I don’t really like them. Yes, women. I sometimes hate them.

I know they’re a good creatures. Beautiful ones indeed. But am scared my feelings doesn’t last long.

Maybe loving someone is a crime? And caring about them is useless? The more I think about it, the more I feel lost. “Why can’t I also deeply fall in love?”

“A man will leave his father, his mother, his brothers and his siblings only to go live with his woman and take care of her.”

“I think from the Bible.”

It’s just that, I don’t know if that is true for me. Living with woman seem like a mundane task. With all the boringness and stupidity plus the jargons. Maybe I should just be.

But they say, “Behind the success of a man, there must be a woman,” correct! I really love that shit. Only that, we don’t quite talk about those women behind the unfortunate men. We only love to talk about the one’s behind the successful man’s.

Let be realistic. Many of your colleagues, brothers and maybe your teachers ain’t that great. And behold, thanks to their women. They’re the reason they’re living in that shit. “Not increasing nor decreasing,” just plainly normal. I wonder when they’re going to cut the shit and run-out of home never dare to come back.

But I believe, I will meet my dream girl.

It might take a month, a year and or a lifetime, but I believe, I will meet my dream girl.

It doesn’t matter how long I waited. What actually matter is if I did really meet the person I really wanted to date.

I don’t know exactly how she should look. Nor am I crystal clear of her attitude. But one thing is certain, I will never settle for less.

Just because everyone around are all getting married doesn’t mean I should. I am the one to apply wisdom and get serious with my life. Any fucking else can live their lives just the way they want. Likewise, I also have the right to live mine.

People say I am very hard to understand.

Maybe they’re right. Because neglecting myself taking care of your bullshit is a nonsense way I wouldn’t dare take a step on. And just because you see the facade doesn’t mean you’ve seen me all, brah! You ain’t see shit.

As un-understandable as I am, as clearly defined I be. Just a simple guy. I want to love women just the way I want them to love me. That’s my typical ways of living.

If you call me – I’ll call you. And when you don’t feel like calling, then you shouldn’t bother yourself. I am more than happy here alone. Living my life the way I currently wanted to live it.

But some people has turn it upside down.

They thought just the way I talk to women, and or interact with them ain’t a better way to win them. They said I should put more effort. Let her know how strong I care about her. And that I should be there anytime she needs me – which I called bullshit.

The worst moment of my life is when I try to do something I didn’t really feel like doing. Something that doesn’t genuine with myself. Something outside of who I am. It’s always end in regretting. Fucking myself all because I couldn’t listen to myself. Fuck it!

Why on earth will I changed my personal lives attitude (attitude that really makes me who I am today) all because of one fucking woman? That is crazy man!

Although if I love her, there are some things that could be changed. But not by changing who I am and what I be, as long as am not your typical go-to asshole living a miserable life thinking he’s cool just the way he is. Nope! That’s not me. I have a wonderful life ahead of me. I just wanted to be great.

But if I meet her (yeah, I mean the person of my dream. As in, someone I really cared about), I promised I will take good care of her with my unprecedented charm. Charm that no one has ever seen (assuming she’s ready to understand me because I am somehow complicated). That’s just the way I really want to live my life.

That when I meet my dream girl, the girl that I will never fade in taking care of. The girl that will definitely worth it. Yeah! That girl will never regret loving me. It’s just that, I am very hard to understand.

And to cut the story short… … … I think that was my ultimate charm. Ability to love my woman just the way she is, and her loving me in return.

Until we meet again .. .. ..

Kindly be a gentle hero.

Meet you @ the next post.

It’s your guy,


Your Dream! Your Life! Your Goals! Or The People?

Never waste time!

You want to take care of everyone around you. You want to make your mother, your brothers, and your sisters to be able to live a wonderful life. You want to provide for everyone around you to the extend that they will see you and say, “Wow! What a wonderful dude?” But there’s a flaw on this dreams: all these dreams are all overrated. You can never achieve all that. Not even in a million lifetimes. So stop caring about others.

Stop caring about anyone in your families. Stop giving a fuck. You need to be happy ‘first’ before you can make anybody else happy. And how on earth will you achieve your dreams when you’re wasting time thinking about others? How on earth will you become the person of your dream when in reality you’re just trying to gain approval from others?

Please, take yourself out of that fucking stupid mentality. Be a man (a man with true grit) and become dependable on yourself. Live your life according to your values and calculate everything based on your beliefs. And if you have anything you could change concerning your life, your dreams, your goals and or your ambitions kindly have the courage to do so.

Because not living your life based on your beliefs is a better way of being slave. Slaving away your life on something that doesn’t real or doesn’t genuine. Please, kindly be a true hero.

And remember, as you go up in life conquering defeat and facing obstacles. Never waste time on something you don’t really care about. Be it human or things. Always be in mental preparation of moving on. Ability to never waver when it’s time to say goodbye to everyone and everything you’ve already gathered in your life. That’s your best bet to success. Being tolerant to leave everything behind.

I know you really want to take care of your people.

I know you’re planning to make your brothers happy. Building their lives in a way that will make them say, “Yeah, we believe in you bro.” But wait, you can only lead them by example. Not by forcing yourself to do what you don’t really want to do. Live according to your beliefs and let them adjust to their own personal ways of thinking. That’s the best way to live a wonderful normal life.

And hey, am not telling you to stop caring.


Nor am I telling you to stop improving.

But hey, am telling you to have a grand values. Something that govern your life.

Why are you doing all the shit you’re doing right now? Why are you achieving all the goals that you’re achieving? And why are you chasing that exponentially beautiful dream?

Is it to make somebody else’s happy or because you’re waiting to prove something wrong? Believe me, none of it actually makes you a healthier somebody. And you must draw a clear boundaries between others.

And hey, who said you shouldn’t care about money?

Yes! Money is good. (Assuming you’re making it for the peace of mind not to satisfy societal needs of shit). And having plenty of it is not even a sin (at least to me, I don’t know about you). Just don’t turn it to your god. Don’t let money be the reason you’re existing. Find ways to add values to life.

Yes! I want you to add more values.

Something that you really cared about.

It may be small and insignificant. At least to some people. But to you, it is something you can’t joke with. This is your life. Your goals. Your dreams. And your ambitions. And you must add values to it.

And remember; never go untested.

Because loving your man, or your woman doesn’t make them above someone who can hurt you. In fact, paying attention to details is your best bet.

Please, no matter what you do in life. No matter the situation you found yourself. No matter who you put your trust in. Never live your life claiming you’ve trust everyone (including yourself).

Being ready at all time to challenge yourself, to challenge people around you, hoping that you could deny yourself the good stuff, and or somebody could deny you the biggest deal is your best weapon of treating life.

Because at the end of the day, no one really cared about shit. We’re all here being a selfish asshole.

So live your life according to your own standard of life.

Not by caring about the stupidity of others.

It is only by doing so you could finally call yourself a happy-go-lucky zebra Dion side giggies.

(Zebra Dion side-giggies ain’t in my dictionary, nor should you find it in your own).

Kindly have a wonderful life.

It’s still your guy, .. .. ..


Am Going To Redefine My Life

Maybe am not chasing the right thing.

How many times have you been dragged or beating down to your limit, where you don’t know what really worth shit again in your life?

I have been there more than one million times. But this time, I feel the most worsted part of it.

I couldn’t eat, couldn’t talk, couldn’t drink for complete two days and I hated my life.

All the girls I thought they’re the only ones for me, that without them my life is not complete are completely useless.

None of them really called me talk of visiting.

What of the girl that I thought she’s the one am going to marry? Well, she was the first to dump me once she realized I am not well.

This is not to say I am becoming cynical about girls. And if that’s the case, then so be it. But am saying, right now is the best moments for me to question my life. What if am chasing the wrong goals?

Forget about money! Money ain’t worth shit when your health is under critical construction. Where you’re feeling, talking, reasoning what you might not considered acceptable in your lifetime. And you’re expecting it to happen at that moment of your predicament. Very funny.

I lie down assuming myself to be dead. Feeling what I can’t even explain in my mother’s tongue talk of saying it in English. Very mind consuming.

The sickness lasted for a week (and I lost many business potential but the lessons are enough of substitution).

Some people care about you but you don’t know.

It doesn’t matter who they are but they love you.

And secondly,

Many of your beliefs are fuckup.

Marrying your dream girl, building a house and finding the right man are all because you’re healthy.

If the shit finally hit the fans you’ll forget about everything. How to regain your health will be your number one priority.

And again,

Your life ain’t bad at all.

You think not having money mean you’re useless? Think again!

If you manage to fall sick. As in, you fall deep into sickness, then you’ll realize what am talking about. Nobody will teach you how to understand your life. How to give thanks to Almighty God.

And believe me,

Maybe you don’t really worth shit.

All because people are calling your name front and back doesn’t mean you actually worth shit. Just wait until you’re not normal, then let see if they’re still going to call you.

And to my girlfriends out there, fuck you all. I will never forget your kind. You stupid apocalypse.

And to those who stand by me, I really appreciate you all. May Almighty God shower His blessings.

To those who read my stuff. Am sorry, sickness has hold me down for long. But now, am feeling some backup. So I thank you all.

It seem am going to stop here.

Meet you soon.

In My Dating Book

I don’t want to know much about life. Maybe I should just live my life the way am currently thinking of doing so? – I don’t know. But I just want to be free like an eagle. And yes! I might be a real loner.

Sometimes money ain’t being my problem. Although I didn’t have much you know. Am still full of debt and some stupid shit am paying out for. But I love those crazy shits of my life. Only that, some of these debts are holding me back. But well, am going to pay it all.

Okay, why am I writing this? Well, it’s all because I want to be a loner. And or maybe not a loner. But someone who didn’t have a lot to be bug down. A free man. Living life on my own term.

I may meet my dream girl (or maybe I won’t). That ain’t certain. Only death is certain. But I want to live without caring about a single fucking shit. And yes! Maybe fucking around a little. I love this crazy adventure called life. I just want to live my life to the fullest.

I might be in my hometown. (That’s currently where I am anyway). But that doesn’t stop me from living my life. All I need to do is to plan it based on my heart desires and wants.

Some people think am just wasting time. Well, maybe they’re right. Wasting time is my hobbies. As long as am not doing things society deemed normal. As long as am living my life on my own personal term. Not caring much about anything. Just plainly living my life.

In this dating jungle. I don’t really know if am going to settled down. But you know what? Both “mum” and “dad” are expecting grandson and granddaughter. Maybe I should give them one or two? Or I should just tell them to go fuck themselves?

But wait – ain’t it bad not to have my own kid, after all they born me as well?

It’s okay, I might end up having a child or two, but not in a crazy way almost everyone are doing it. (Going to school. Marry your dream or maybe not your dream girl. Spend the money that could be used to cater for the kids instead of crazily lavish it on your wedding ceremony. Then follow up with four to six kids no one will ever remember because they didn’t amount to anything much in life all because the money that could be used to take care of one child is being used to take care of five). Useless life.

That ain’t for me.

I want to create my own life. Maybe in a way nobody understood. Hell, I might not even understand it myself. But just creating it anyway.

My life. Not my fellow brothers life. So am free to do anything am capable of doing, as long as I can face the consequences. Yeah! That’s it.

And sometimes, there’s nothing like clean sheet.

I love meeting and approaching women. Then I realized, not every woman will like me. Sometimes I really want them to, but I have to face the harsh reality of life: just because you love somebody doesn’t mean they’re going to love you back. You have to face the truth.

I don’t know if am going to regret everything that am doing now or not. Because I’ve met so many women that I don’t even know which one is who. Am just hoping that this lifestyle won’t fuck me up.

I love some of the women I met. And some of them are just plainly filling the gap. I don’t know if that’s how I am to them as well, but all I know is: everyone has their own target.

Some of the women I met really want to settled down. (In which am not). And some of them are just plainly in it for sex.

Some of them only have interest in me, interest I can’t even explain or imagine. And some are just plainly not interested.

There are some I sometimes don’t want to lose, because I really want to protect them. And I really want to marry them.

But to hell with me, I’m not sure I could get married. (And this unmarried issue is disturbing me. It is fucking my life).

I sometimes feel guilty for my lifestyle. Where am looking at the girl I like leaving me all because I only care about sex. It’s painful. But, I just have to deal with it.

I might not leave every woman I met with a clean sheets. Maybe we’re going to sometimes make it rough. Where both of us depart with disagreement and scrutiny attention of wants. Where we both love each other, but our expectations and experiences are contradicting each other.

That is my ugly part of dating.

I don’t really think I could settled down. And in my dating book, I wish all the women I met really understand me.

I really love them. But I love my life better.

I don’t want to live a normal life.

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