“I will get over this, I promised.”
I didn’t have a good plan, nor am I highly intelligent. Maybe! All am doing is just taking it a step at a time.
Too much debtors, I said. I didn’t have a good sight. Just that, I was crazy like hell. Getting loan as if someone was pointing a gun at me. What a stupid me!? I moan.
I was crazy. Paving up and down. Telling myself all the stupid shit I couldn’t have done. But now it is too late. I have already put myself in a deep pit.
I didn’t know it will turn out like this. I didn’t know. I was just crazy. Trying to make money by all means.
Am not going to justify. I won’t ever take a single step to defend myself. I fuck up. That’s all. I make a poor decision.
“Sometimes, we just don’t need to follow our dreams.”
I could have waited another day. Building a website, I thought it was going to be a great deal. Without a single experience, it was hard like hell. Paying for shit I couldn’t figure out the uses. Getting loan for something I couldn’t understand. Anyway, that was then. Maybe now, I will make a good use.
Not knowing what to do. I sat down. Maybe on the floor. Well, I can’t say. All I know is that I sat down. My life. Where is it going? Am I going to die from all this? No way, I must figure out a way.
I thought website will be earning me money. SPOILER ALERT! It didn’t. I was broke like hell. Working and toiling on something I didn’t really understand. But hey, it was worth it. Even if I failed, at least have learn my lesson: Never Do Something You’re Not Knowledgeable About.
There’s room for improvement. Of course I know. Just that, you’ll be amazed how faster you learn if you properly took the right step, instead of guessing and cracking up brain. Cracking brain on what you didn’t even know the basics. Bad game, I cry.
I wasted so much money. Traffic or something, as if it was a Lexus 360, swallowing my money. Hell, not even my money, the money I got through the loaner. Stubborn me, I said. But now is not the time to get panic. And there’s no room for regret. I have to keep moving. At least I’ll be cautious now. Trying to figure out all the right step. Yes! That will be a good idea. Or what!? That was what I told myself.
First I need somewhere to work. Either the job I hate or the one I loath. I just have to do something. Or else this shark loan companies will cut my throat. So before kicking and smacking myself. I have to find solution. At least paying back the money first. That should be my first priority.
So I stood up. Staring bovine like at my TV wall. No, really? Is it a TV? No! I just remembered I didn’t have any. My room was plain like day. Nothing to show even to my girlfriend. Always boring like listening to a 70 years old lecturer speaking french when you only speak your native language in hope that he was lecturing you on how to make a planet count. When in reality, you were from Japan. And here you are, staring at your professor, speaking french, saying almost every jargons you wouldn’t even remember even when you’re gotten a plane ticket for it. Dull. I said. Anyway, there’s no time to waste time.
Which work should I do? I can’t say. I was just staring at the wall. Okay. What if I start a business? Cool! It seem that sounds great. But wait, which business am I talking about? Well, I just have to figure that out. But anyway, maybe thinking won’t solve a single shit of this. Maybe I should just get the fuck out of this house and find a good use of my time. With that in mind. I picked up my phone, checked the time and it said, 3:26 pm. What a bad luck, I thought. But anyway, no time is too long to make a comeback. Or at least, I have to put some hope.
I walked out. Lock the door and started the journey I didn’t sure how to arrive at the destination. Just plainly moving, hoping that one day, I might hit the right jackpot. Bullshit. I thought. But anyway, I still have to keep going.
This website, I am coming back to hunt you. I promised. I will learn all the shit I have to learn in other to make you work. But first, I have to pay back my loan. For this case, just watch out for my next move.
Fuck you! I Am Lasisi. Yes, I’ve gat to say fuck you even more than a million time. After all, you stupidly drag my money go.
But wait, is it me or the website? Oh oh! Then fuck me in return. I didn’t learn my home work.
Yeah! That should be my lesson: Always Have Some Knowledge Of What You’re Getting Yourself Into.